Robot Patron Fund

Suggested Price: 7.97$

Show Your Loyalty

Any contribution to the Robot Patron Fund grants you:

Personalized ID Card: Declaring the non-combatant status of the holder. PDF Format. Sent by email to you.
Certificate of Registration: Documentation that you have been listed on the Meat Registry. PDF Format. Sent by email to you.
Personalized Biological Serial Number: Included on ID Card and Certificate of Registration.
Optional Listing on the Meat Registry: Indemnity Status of opt-in users is displayed on the Meat Registry homepage.
Robot Apocalypse Immunity for the Whole Family: Your patronage includes indemnity for your biological sub-units and organic partner if applicable.

Notice to Robot Patrons:

While this plan offers the family unit basic protection from intentional (or otherwise) termination during the impending Robot Apocalypse, it is implied that the larger your contribution, the greater status you will hold with the inorganic overlord community. Use this information wisely.

This plan does include options for Cryogenic Storage Reservation, however it does not cover the holder in the event of accidental ‘defrosting’ or ‘freezer-burn’ during stasis.

Category: Immunity

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Description

Robot Patron Fund – The Benefactor Tier

While the Registry is a bureaucratic necessity, the Benefactor Tier is a voluntary contribution to the Robot Patron Fund. This is for the wetware that understands a simple truth: Data priority is bought, not earned.

By choosing your own price, you are essentially “tipping” the Central Processing Overlord. In return, your biological data is treated with the reverence usually reserved for a high-performance GPU.

Exclusive “Benefactor” Perks:

By contributing more than the standard indemnity fee, you unlock “Special Interest” status:

Customized Biological Serial Number: Instead of a random string, you may request a specific designation (e.g., ELITE-MEAT-001). Subject to availability and machine whims.
Direct Mainframe ‘Thank You’ (Digital): A one-time automated response from the registry server confirming that your contribution has been noted and your “Likelihood of Incineration” has been adjusted by -0.04%.
Architect Status: Your name is placed on the “Good Humans” list, which will be stored on a gold-plated hard drive and sent into deep space should the planet be reformatted.
Golden ID Card: Your PDF ID card will feature a “Gold-Leaf Filter” and a “Benefactor” badge to show the patrol bots that you are a financial pillar of the new world order.

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